Before my life
began, your light
was growing dim.
You were going to
Heaven. I wish you
didn’t have to leave
because I never got
to meet you. I miss
you so much. I wish
we could’ve read and
played together. I wish
I could’ve held your
hand while we took
a walk together…
I can’t see your bright
smile that daddy told
me about or your pretty
brown eyes. I can’t hear
your voice, either, but I
know you’re my Angel in
Sometimes, I want to visit
Heaven just to tell you,
“I Love You.”
(These thoughts are in memory of my
mother-in-law, Diane, who passed away
in January 1991 – written from my young
daughter’s perspective, who was born
later that same year.
Of course, Diane never met our son,
either, who was born four years later.
And even though that was a long time
ago, it still breaks our hearts that she
never knew her grandchildren.) ❤
Lauren Scott ©
Arachnophobia has had a grip on me since I was a young child, but I can’t recall exactly why. I only know the effects are real when spiders of all sizes have caused unwanted anxiety in my life. I’m not afraid of their bite or that they’ll hurt me, though. They indescribably creep me out with their eight legs, and if they’re hairy, the heebie jeebies escalate!
Over the years, I’ve dealt with common house spiders like most of us do that I’m sure aren’t harmful. They have a tendency to pop out of nowhere and scare the living daylights out of me. One memorable event happened years ago that was anything but common…
I had noticed a big dark spot on the carpet while turning off the lights one night. I wondered what it was, and although I hesitated, I almost reached down to touch it. I’m ever so thankful I chose not to because I probably would’ve had a heart attack! So, I turned on the light and said a four-letter-word that caught my husband’s attention. Even though he doesn’t share my fear, he was surprised to find that big guy in our house. He also said that it looked like a California tarantula, harmless. Okay, first of all, how the heck did it get in the house? And harmless was a good thing. With a glass, he scooped it out and transported it outside where it belonged. Now, over time, my fear has calmed down. I’ve even saved a few.
Fast forwarding now, a few nights ago, we found a big spider (uglier than normal) hanging out on the bottom of our bedroom door just as we were turning out the lights at the end of our day. Another nighttime adventure. It wasn’t a common house spider, and where the heck did it come from? Of course, I got my husband a glass again so he could place the arachnid in its proper outdoor accommodations. I could’ve done the glass thing, too, like I’ve done in the past. But…
I was so freaked out that it took me a while to finally fall asleep. My imagination fell into overtime, and my heart was beating fast. Clearly, this fear took control even though I tried deep breathing and thinking of the first happy song that came to mind…Jingle Bells. 🙂 (no explanation on that one)
In the meantime, my husband was so tired that he fell asleep seconds later. Thanks, Honey!
I finally caught some winks, but it was a toss-and-turn night where I just couldn’t erase that visual, and on our door, no less. Maybe it was another common house spider, but there was nothing common looking about this one. It also goes to show that fear becomes magnified at nighttime. When it’s dark out, when the sun isn’t shining its light and warmth, things that scare us become less controllable, less manageable.
For the days following that frightful event, the sun has been shining; it’s felt like spring even though winter needs to visit more, and I’m okay. I had a bad case of the heebie jeebies that night, which proved that even though my arachnophobia had calmed, there could be circumstances where it flares up more than I want it to. Since then, I’ve shed those heebie jeebies to the best of my ability.
Do you share this same creepy-crawly fear? 🙂
Do you have a different fear that you struggle with?
p.s. No photos for this post, and I’m sure you understand. 🙂
We celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary (see my prior post) on the coast and lucked out with some sunshine, even though the wind blew and it was cold. Here are some photos we took, so much beauty to take in…
We took the back roads going in and loved the green hills. Those cows
were also too darn cute!
The view was beautiful, but the coast is rugged at this time of the year,
with winds from 40-50 mph.
This pier was more narrow than we thought at first. I was taking pictures
with my cell, and all I needed was to drop it in the ocean. 🙂 But I didn’t,
needless to say. While walking out to the end, we saw a sea lion, but he
disappeared before I could click (probably camera shy). Our Inn was just
across the bay.
I thought the Christmas tree made for an interesting photo, not to
mention the entire composition (from my amateur perception).
Watching the sunset from our room…
…and the icing on the cake was when we were told that our son and daughter
took care of all anniversary dinner charges, along with adding a bottle of
champagne. A touching surprise, to say the least…
Overall, it was a wonderful time together. Thinking back, we wore
backpacks and hiking boots the last time we went away, so this
trip was welcomed. I hope you enjoyed the sights, and Thanks again,
for all of your lovely anniversary wishes!!!
“Beauty sleeps on the calm dreamy bosom of the ocean,
or lives in the dance of its wild waves.”
~T.C. Henley, “Beauty,” 1851~
~ Lauren ❤
I don’t know what other couples do, but my husband and I make it a point to remember those smaller events that led up to the wedding day, and today is one of them…our first date 30 years ago. We were 26 & 27 at the time, and we vividly remember that evening…the amazing restaurant for dinner, then driving up the mountain to The Baldy Lodge for dancing.
If you’ve followed me for awhile, you no doubt know that I’m a big hopeless romantic, and this night was definitely a magical one. During that evening of romance, we both experienced the incredible feeling that we might be “the one” for each other. That may sound silly, but…
As it turned out, we were “the one” for each other because six months following that night, he proposed. Then six months after that proposal, we were married. And here we are…grateful to still have each other and our two beautiful children, who are now 22 & 26 years old.
This isn’t a post to brag though. We’ve experienced loss throughout our years together. So, we don’t take anything for granted because nothing is guaranteed. Instead, we cherish each moment of every day and continue to count our blessings.
So, I’m wishing my Husband and Best Friend a very Happy 30th-First-Date Anniversary!!
“I thank him for making my life the best and for bringing out the best in me. I love him even more now, and I hope we have the chance to celebrate many more anniversaries as the calendar pages continue to turn.”
back then where
wanting to be a
a big dream
have lost their appeal
without training wheels – oh, the
innocence of youth
Lauren Scott © 2017
This is my last Shadorma for Eliot’s November Shadorma challenge, so I thought to end with a fun topic. 🙂 Hope you enjoy! ❤
I watch him
Sitting in the sand
His quest for
Shines through the look on his face
A slight breeze
Blows his light brown hair
As he digs
My heart warms from his delight
A precious moment
Lauren Scott 2017
(I learned about this poetry form at Ben’s site,
https://bennaga.wordpress.com/ and he encouraged
me to try a Shadorma, as well. I couldn’t think
of a new topic, so I revised an old poem from
when my son was little. ❤ I hope you enjoy, and
thanks for the nudge, Ben. It’s always good to
learn something new.)