September 10, Monday
(hospital stay 9/7-9/9 Fri-Sun)
It’s evening when I usually pick up a good book, but my eyes are just too tired and my mind is too preoccupied to concentrate on anything. My body is also fatigued as though every ounce of energy has been zapped. Then when my head meets the pillow, my mind begins to wander again. Some thoughts lead into great memories of present or past. This is when I breathe deeply and thank God. And some start to tumble into a darker place where I have no desire to be. Those thoughts provoke wild emotions, and the last thing I need is puffy eyes in my morning reflection.
So, it takes mustering up a lot of strength to bat those dark thoughts away as if they’re pesky, blood-sucking mosquitoes. This is when I also breathe deeply – slowly inhaling, slowly exhaling, hoping to relax and fall into a deep slumber where thinking is finished for the night. And I pray to God that I’ll be okay. One thing I’ve been reminded of is just how fragile life can be, and I didn’t need reminding.
With this being said, and even through an occasional two-minute-melt-down, I’ll keep the faith as the waiting and testing continues. I won’t let optimism out of my sight. Taking one day at a time still rings true. And I am beyond grateful for the love and support of my awesome family and friends.
(I hope to catch up on blog-reading real soon. Stay safe and well. Lauren ❤)
1. That life’s course can change in a heartbeat.
2. That we need to be advocates for our loved ones when it comes to medical attention.
3. That I can find calmness and strength when it’s needed.
4. That we need to have faith in medical personnel.
5. That nothing is black and white.
6. That my faith in God has waned.
7. That asking why doesn’t bring answers.
8. That all I know is that I don’t know anything.
9. That “one day at a time” is no joke.
10. That sitting in the emergency room while the power went out was beyond spooky (even though hospitals have generators). And it happened twice.
11. That I commend medical staff wholeheartedly.
12. That even though we were there from 11:30 pm to 4 am, we survived.
13. That being a parent involves much more than changing diapers.
14. That even as children grow older parenting doesn’t end.
15. That worrying does no good but manages to surface anyway.
16. That the future still remains unknown.
17. That the last time I screamed at God wasn’t the last time.
18. That the feeling of helplessness is indescribable.
19. That since this event, time hasn’t stopped. Life goes on. We move forward.
“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”
~ Albert Camus
“Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart.”
~ Jose N. Harris
“Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.”
~ Maya Angelou
***Thanks to all who read this. Its purpose isn’t for sympathy, rather for therapeutic reasons. We all have stories of sorrow. But on the opposite end of sorrow, there is joy for many reasons, along with strength, optimism, and perseverance – the reason I ended with these great quotes. Sometimes, we just have to pour our hearts out, though, so thanks again for stopping by. And may you also find strength, optimism, and perseverance in any struggles you’re experiencing. ❤
Everywhere, affecting our senses
We’re subjected to horror never-ending
How much more can our souls ache?
How much more can our hearts break?
Should we succumb to defeat that we feel?
Throw in the towel with arms in the air?
Are they winners again because we allow,
Or is perseverance what it’s all about?
Let’s not restrict our minds to the darkness
Instead, dare to dream with eyes wide open
Envision the world we desire to see
Surround ourselves with the light we need
Lauren Scott © 2018
Photos courtesy of Google
(In view of the frequent negativity all around the world,
here is some Light to carry with you today.) ❤
Guilt overshadows the season’s joy
when others’ loss becomes prevalent
They wish for a miracle of healing
their spirits hang on a thread so delicate
When will the blood stop shedding?
What will keep mouths from starving?
Do you hear it where you are?
The noise of despair is jarring
Is it so simple to say a prayer
for their anguish to be calmed
for love to hug their weary souls
for all to feel a connected bond?
~Lauren Scott © 2017
This season of Magic, Miracles, and Faith isn’t joyous for everyone; for many it’s a Blue Christmas. So, may the Spirit find itself embracing all people, but especially those who are dealing with stress or depression from tragedy, and may Peace weave its way into their hearts, minds, and lives. Let us remember the Vision of “Goodwill to All Men.”
I’ll be away from blogging through the holiday weekend, so I wish you all a Christmas filled with an abundance of Love, Joy, and Peace. And a Big “Thank You” to all of you – both old and new friends – for your continued support here on WP.
~With Love, Lauren 💝
I repeat the words again
They are said with reverence
With eyes closed, hands folded
They are woven with hope
Each time softly spoken
Yet, the only change
Is the color on the leaves
Does He sense the tone
from which I speak?
Does He hear my pleas?
Importance of timing
Takes time in itself
The new season brings
Warmth with its colors
And new enticing flavors
While hope becomes hazy
And faith begins to waver
Lauren Scott 2017
I tried something new this time, so below is the audio link:
It’s not likely to be tougher than this
Pain exceeds the wildest of imaginations
Sunsets fade into melting memories
Pleading is heard with no negotiations
Control keeps its distance on the furthest horizon
Progress stays on the trail of stagnation
Sunrises fail to uplift with their vibrancy
An opened door leads only to resignation
There are times when I’ve failed you
allowing my worried mind to guide
Being led deep into the darkness
where fear would reveal its ugly head
I wish to undo negative thoughts
and faithless feelings in my heart
for I am ashamed of my weakness
where tears are mine to shed
I know you walk with me in
each day that I take a new breath
When I see the sun rise once again
I’m in awe of your loving grace
Though uncertainty lies on the path ahead
I’m not chained to these dismal ways
Will you cast forgiveness upon my soul?
With renewed trust, I hope it’s not too late
Lauren Scott © 2014