Ice Chips & Christmas

Dear Friends,

I finally had my ERCP last Thursday – the procedure I had to repeat (after an incomplete try in October), and then wait six weeks for. Anyway, it went smoothly this time. I had no moments of consciousness, knowing there was a tube down my throat causing panic. The Good news is the positive outcome….no auto-immune liver disease or cancer. The cause for my attack and hospital stay in September was another pesky gallstone in the bile duct. I’m SO grateful for this diagnosis.

ercp Nov 29 2018

I will say though, that if you’ve had your gallbladder out, know that gallstones can appear in the bile duct, which can be dangerous. If the bile duct becomes blocked then the bile stays in the liver making it sick. Not a good thing. I’ve learned a lot since my daughter’s auto-immune liver disease diagnosis six years ago. Things I never cared to know.

Anyway, they kept me overnight for monitoring, so I was home in the comfort of my own bed late Friday afternoon. Since then, I had some unpleasant after effects, but I’m feeling better now. To rest and eat lightly are doctor’s orders for a couple of weeks. I can do that. 🙂

Image result for chicken noodle soup

What remains surreal is that I’ve endured similar symptoms my daughter experiences with her disease. Maybe it’s the mom in me that has to truly feel the pain my daughter feels. I don’t know, but it’s very strange and coincidental. I have to add again that all of this is non-alcoholic related. Gallstones can cause havoc! 

Needless to say, I’ve lost momentum for blogging, and at this point, I’ve decided to take December off from WordPress to focus on a little “me time” and the Christmas season upon us. I will miss all of you, but I’ll look forward to returning in the new year refreshed and invigorated. Wow, 2019! Time, she is a flyin’!

So, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year full of new adventures, possibilities, and lots of Love! Lauren ❤🎅🎁🌲

Xmas 2017

Photo #1 – my hospital stay
Photo #2 – Google
Photo #3 – Copper during Christmas 2017 (my dog) 

P.S. I also have to express how grateful we are for the outstanding team of doctors at Kaiser. 

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Moving Forward

Dear Friends,

This is a follow-up to my last post…thank you for your love, prayers, positive thoughts, and support. I’m feeling much better, but healing on the inside is still needed. So, I’m in the process of scheduling a procedure that will provide answers.

In the meantime, it’s great to have my energy back; it’s no fun staying in bed not being able to contribute to the daily routine. My outlook is optimistic, but I’m also realistic. I don’t do well living in gray area, so we shall see…

On a lighter note, I love the cooler weather, and the season of Fall is one of my favorites…the colors, the smells, the foods, and the change of wardrobe. 🙂 And for the new season upon us, I’m including a fun haiku, and of course, Copper. My daughter took this photo a few years back, and it remains a favorite.

Copper in Autumn by Steph 2016

pumpkins on the porch
sandles in hybernation
hello socks and boots!

Wishing you all a Wonderful Wednesday. ❤❤❤

 

Journal Entry 9/10/18

September 10, Monday

(hospital stay 9/7-9/9 Fri-Sun)

It’s evening when I usually pick up a good book, but my eyes are just too tired and my mind is too preoccupied to concentrate on anything. My body is also fatigued as though every ounce of energy has been zapped. Then when my head meets the pillow, my mind begins to wander again. Some thoughts lead into great memories of present or past. This is when I breathe deeply and thank God. And some start to tumble into a darker place where I have no desire to be. Those thoughts provoke wild emotions, and the last thing I need is puffy eyes in my morning reflection.

So, it takes mustering up a lot of strength to bat those dark thoughts away as if they’re pesky, blood-sucking mosquitoes. This is when I also breathe deeply – slowly inhaling, slowly exhaling, hoping to relax and fall into a deep slumber where thinking is finished for the night. And I pray to God that I’ll be okay. One thing I’ve been reminded of is just how fragile life can be, and I didn’t need reminding.

With this being said, and even through an occasional two-minute-melt-down, I’ll keep the faith as the waiting and testing continues. I won’t let optimism out of my sight. Taking one day at a time still rings true. And I am beyond grateful for the love and support of my awesome family and friends.

(I hope to catch up on blog-reading real soon. Stay safe and well. Lauren ❤)

 

 

Memories, Tears & Sinful Cravings

I heard about this poetry form, Cinquain, during one of my visits to http://purplesplatitudes.wordpress.com. If you get the chance, stop by Michael’s blog. His writing is wonderful and he ventures into different poetry forms and emotions. I know you won’t be disappointed! 

I would definitely call these “rough drafts” and more practicing is in the future, but I hope you enjoy…

When they were Young

Giggles,
barefoot on cool
grass, swinging in summer
breeze, smiles bigger than Texas state
the past

Diagnosis

Covered
ears with shaky
hands, unbelievable
echoes of pain flow in and out
fear not?

Chocolate 

Craving
comfort food, oh,
something creamy sounds good
gooey, sinfully delicious
dark, though

Lauren Scott © 2014

All Over Again

Redwoods edited for blog 2013

I thought we had bid farewell
instead, while sweeping
under one of our rugs
its existence glowed
like an October prank
My sanity experienced
an immediate tug

The spirits of my shoulders
dropped with great speed
and the weight of their tears
caused my heart to sink
into a dark abyss
with rejuvenated fears

I remember being thrilled
with its absence
dancing through my days
now I look at my reflection
in the mirror and see traces
of a familiar, emotional maze

The need to blame
is so very strong
I know it’s not right
but I long for someone
to offer their hand,
catch my pleading words
as they roll from my lips
and for a face with kind eyes
to tell me this is just
a vivid nightmare,
not a rewritten script

Repeatedly, I reach for strength,
at times, feeling my fingers slipping
As I kneel, with folded hands,
my heart begs for another error
I silently pray for this presence
to stop haunting our days
and for a beautiful soul to be spared

Lauren Scott © 2013