My Version, Untitled

When emotions are
exhausted again, I find
myself at home, alone,
closing all windows, then
stopped in the middle of
the hallway, I scream at
a volume that causes the
Golden Gate to shudder in
acknowledgement.
A moment for prayer.

Lauren Scott © 2018

Inspired by Margaret L. Mitchell’s poem:

Sometimes,
when it is all, finally,
too much,
I climb into my car,
roll the windows up,
and somewhere between
backing out of the driveway
and rounding the first corner
I let out a yell
that would topple Manhattan.
How do you pray?

***Thank you for your compassionate words, thoughts,
and prayers from my prior post. All is better for now,
and we live one day at a time as each day is a gift…
I was talking to my pastor the other day, and she
sent me Margaret Mitchell’s poem. I’ve read this
before, love it, and couldn’t believe how perfectly
it resonated. So I was inspired to write my own version,
but since the idea and wording are similar, I wanted
to cite the author.***

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29 thoughts on “My Version, Untitled

  1. Thanks for this one, Lauren. I’ve done the same. Primal scream! It works, even when we just do it in our imaginations. I suspect the whole universe hears us.
    Sending hugs, and hope you’re able to enjoy your Saturday.
    🌞💛💐🌻💛

    • Hi Betty, just so you know, I don’t scream often, but there are those infrequent moments. 😦 I just loved this poem by Margaret Mitchell, which inspired me to write my own version. 🙂 And you’re right, I think the whole universe hears us, which in turn, sends more support back to us. Thanks for the hugs, sending some back to you, also. Saturday was fun and relaxing, and today will be the same with my husband. 🧡🌷🌼🤶🌼💜

    • Hi Ian, screaming isn’t a de-stress mechanism for me, but rather an emotional reaction and more of a metaphor of how I (we) feel during these moments when my daughter’s symptoms flare up. I’ll spare the details, but I’m not sure if you know the whole story. These are times when my husband and I are hurting, watching her suffer. BUT, all is better for now, and we’re thankful. Thanks for your thoughts; they’re always appreciated…

  2. Lauren, I think this reaction isn’t the worst during hard times … otherwise pent-up feelings have the ability to eat away at us, causing actual physical harm. I just hope that you don’t feel like this often and honestly think we have all been there at some stage. I recall a nightmarish night after my mother had a brain haemorrhage and I was told to expect the worst. Sent home to rest for the night I vaguely remember hearing this primaeval howling … was horrified to realise it was me and that I couldn’t stop. Hours later, I showered and returned to the hospital. By a miracle, my mother survived and in that night my life changed forever. Hmmm… sorry for rambling, your words stirred a lot of emotions. ‘A moment for a prayer’, indeed. hugs xxxx (ps. I am happy that things are better for you now since the last post.)

    • You’re right, Annika, about holding feelings in; that’s not good nor healthy. But I want you to know that “screaming” isn’t the norm for me. More often than not, it’s a metaphor for how my husband and I feel when these moments occur for our daughter. It’s the turmoil inside our hearts and minds, and I swear even that sometimes we physically feel the hurt. Thanks for sharing about that night with your mom. I can only imagine how frightening that was for you, but I’m glad she was okay. Please know that you can ramble anytime. I think I’ve done the same on your blog. 🙂 Yes, there are many forms of prayer, so whatever works best for us is what we should choose. I’m sorry to have stirred up emotions, but maybe that’s a good thing, too. My feelings were the same after reading this poem, which influenced my rendition. Hope you liked it, too. Thanks also for your compassion and caring words. Hugs and much love to you, my friend..xoxoxo

  3. Dear Lauren,

    I know the feeling and please allow me to share.

    When emotions overwhelm, I do what the ancients always did – before Hollywood’s macho BS came along. I walk in the rain and have a good cry. If there is no rain, I simply go for a walk in a lonely park and have a good cry. It works for me.

    With God’s grace, all will be well. I wish this for you and yours (husband, daughter, and anyone else who is hurting).

    Luv and hugz from a friend,
    Eric

    • Hi Eric,

      You can share anytime, and I truly appreciate your comforting words. Crying is something I’m not shy about doing (ask my family). I know it helps in a cleansing way at times. Thanks again for your wishes, my friend…hugs and love to you, too…

    • Hi again, Eric,

      I just want to say thanks again for all your compassionate comments, and yes, things are better for now. It’s ongoing though, and we just need to deal with these events when they come up. It’s not easy, so sometimes, I get really down. My husband does, too. That’s why taking one day at a time is so important, along with not putting too much emphasis on the what ifs in the future. Anyway, I’m trying to avoid writing a novel here, but I hope that gives you a clearer picture…And when things are good, we are so grateful.
      I hope you’re enjoying your weekend, or is it over now? I should’ve googled your time zone first. lol
      I will wish you a marvelous Monday though. Blessings, my friend…

  4. Lauren, I’m so glad to hear you’re doing better this week. Writing your poem and putting your feelings into it must have been as much a release as your scream. For me, more than screaming, exercise works. Love and big hugs, my friend.

    • Thanks, Michelle. Writing does help and so does exercise. Screaming is a once in a while form, but also metaphorical for how we’re feeling at the time. One day at a time. Thanks for the love and hugs, and sending some to you, too. 💗

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